In the throes of late summer fading into autumn, we again find ourselves busy. The school year has come into full swing, and rising tensions and awareness around our country and our world take more than just attention from us. We are all feeling the weight of exhaustion and uncertainty. And that is in part why this update is late, a combination of September and October, as well as some other updates from earlier this fiscal year that have not made it to the congregation at large.
Before the logistical updates, however, I want to take a moment and share some spiritual reflection I’ve been experiencing in the days leading up to this newsletter. I remember in my youth, as a Southern Baptist Christian, I found comfort in the seven virtues. It turns out that they are not a Christian invention, and perhaps that was why I was so drawn to them; they reflect something more universal (and perhaps unitarian).
There was one virtue that always caught my attention. Patience. And one thing was made clear to met as a young Christian regarding that virtue: it is not something you have, it is something you do. I was warned that praying for patience was inviting my higher power to bring circumstances into my life that would challenge and test me, force me to learn how to be patient.
I prayed for it anyway. And the feeling of that struggle is a familiar one to me today. It sucked then, and it sucks now. But through all the tumult and the strife, I hear the music of our growth ringing. I’ve heard multiple members of our congregation and among our leadership express the feeling of growing pains. How apt a descriptor this is, and one that brings comfort to me in knowing that though we feel we are struggling, it is a sign that we are moving, changing, and evolving to better act for a better world.
Anyway, on to the proper update from your Board!
First, we have updated the UUFM website with minutes from our Congregational meetings and monthly Board meetings. You can find links at uufm.net/documents, or navigate to the link at the bottom of our homepage uufm.net. These are Google Drive links, and all members of UUFM who are in the UUFM Google Group should have reading access. If you click the link and are not able to access files, please let Board Secretary Christie Launius know by emailing secretary@uufm.net.
Next, per the budget passed at the Annual Meeting in April, we have reduced cleaning from weekly to biweekly. If you are on coffee duty, please take out stinky garbage so that it doesn’t sit out for more than a week.
We also have a finalized report from the Right Relations Task Force from last year, described below:
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The Right Relations Task Force was created by the Board in December 2024. Composed of Executive Team members, it had the following function:
Below you will find a report of the work done by the Task Force through spring 2025. The Task Force was reconvened for a second fiscal year, with little activity. During the 2026-2027 fiscal year, the Board has asked the Committee on Ministry and the Executive Team to share responsibility for the Right Relations Task Force in an effort to advance the long-term plan for addressing concerns and grievances related to right relations and covenant. |
Report of the Right Relations Task Force 2024-2025
1. Director of Religious Education Transition
Context
Our long-standing DRE retired on September 1, 2024. The month prior, Pastor Isabel was on medical leave. There was miscommunication surrounding DRE’s transition responsibilities, leading to uncertainty and discord about the nature of their departure. Tensions within the congregation were elevated, fueled by rumors about the situation.
Some of these tensions may have been related to an unavoidable cultural shift in attitudes towards professionalism of the DRE role within the context of a called minister. In the moment of a professional transition, the need for the former DRE to have space away from the role conflicted with the congregation’s sense of community. There was a desire to strike a balance respecting DRE’s retirement without a sense of exiling them. Covenantal disagreement and norms of covenant were relatively new to UUFM staff, and we had to distinguish between covenantal, legal, and contractual disagreements and disputes. We also recognized the challenge in navigating power dynamics during the establishing of a covenant.
Right Relations Task Force Actions
The RRTF supported communication with now-former DRE in a way that attempted to balance a conciliatory tone with adherence to the principle of appropriate covenantal relationship between staff and minister, as a way to guide them back into right relations in the event of their future return to the congregation.
The Personnel Team reached out to share with them about the dynamics in the congregation spurred by their departure and to ask for a chance to connect and work together on the issue. Former DRE communicated that they chose not to reconnect at this point.
Understanding that personnel issues require a level of confidentiality on the part of the Board and Minister, we created a document for how to respond to questions about the situation that provided a united message that complied with laws and policies.
The RRTF also encouraged Pastor Isabel to revisit conversations with all staff regarding covenant to ensure mutual understanding and agreement.
2. Lay-Led Sunday Services
Context
A UUFM member was preparing to present a lay-led service in a way that Pastor Isabel felt was not supporting the congregation or in line with congregational needs. Pastor Isabel offered feedback, but could not achieve agreement or compromise with the potential speaker. This led to escalating conflict on the Sunday Services Team and a breakdown of communication. In a separate incident involving this same person, the Board received a note of concern from a member of the Sunday Services Team about that person’s unwelcome behavior towards them, and the person was asked to take a hiatus from UUFM activities.
The Board established the Right Relations Task Force as a result of this situation.
Right Relations Task Force Actions
The RRTF tried to invite communication about restitution and reconciliation, but the person in question declined to meet without legal representation. The RRTF consulted with a UUA regional staff member for consultation regarding how we should navigate the issue. With UUA guidance, we distinguished between legal and covenantal disputes and therefore did not agree to involvement of legal representatives in conversations designed to address issues that were strictly covenantal, not legal. Following Pastor Isabel’s request, the Lawrence UU pastor connected with the person in question to ensure they had continued access to pastoral care.
3. Executive Team
Context
The 2024-2025 Executive Team noticed that growing tensions and distrust occurring within the congregation were also beginning to affect the dynamics of the Board and Executive Team. Personal connections to other challenges in the congregation were weighing on us, and none of us were happy about how things were going.
Right Relations Task Force Actions
We came together to work through these tensions and focused on re-building trust. We spent time listening to each other and sharing where we each were coming from. We had honest conversations to build mutual understanding without an agenda or desire to convince one another of our own viewpoints. Ultimately, the Executive Team was able to acknowledge that we each were doing the best we could and that we trusted one another to engage in the work of the Board and Executive Team in a way that held true to the values of Unitarian Universalism.
Over the course of August and September the Board has been spending time planning how to better structure the year ahead, especially once we reach spring and lead toward our next annual meeting. Particularly we are extending the process over a much longer period of time. In previous years, Board nominees were invited to end of year meetings which are not representative of how the Board operates during the rest of the year. And so, to give them a better understanding of what is involved and more time to consider joining the Board we are inviting potential nominees to sit in on meetings starting this month. If you or someone you know may be interested in joining the Board next year, please reach out!
We also understand that a single afternoon after a regular Sunday service is insufficient for all the information and decision processing needed to fully engage with our Annual Congregational meeting. While I cannot give exact details, as the timeline is still under revision, the Board is acting to stretch reports, decision topics, and discussion sessions over the course of at least two months leading up to the annual meeting so that everyone has an opportunity to see the agenda, ask questions, reflect on opinions and options, and make fully informed decisions by the time their vote is cast.
Then, of course, is our approach to our budget and financial stewardship. We have come to realize that there need to be policy changes to more accurately reflect how we are operating, particularly around handling hours and staff compensation and protection. While ongoing, our discussions around our finances have raised a larger question: What is our guidance on healthy financial stewardship within our Unitarian Universalist values?
Officially called in during September, our Financial Stewardship Helping Circle has been called to aid our decision making around this question. The Board knows that our financial decisions affect us all, and so has decided to employ the help of this new temporary circle. Led by myself (Sage) and Cosette, the circle will explore where the bridge is between our values and a healthy, responsible management of our organization. This link will show you the proposal which details the aim and domain (the focus and action) of this new helping circle. If you have any questions, please let me know!
Wow, this has been a BIG update. If you’ve made it this far while still (mostly) absorbing everything, I commend you for your literacy and your commitment to understanding what we’re all about here at UUFM. I know it’s a lot, and I thank each of you for your continued support and trust of me and the rest of your Board in doing our work to make a better world, big and small.
May patience come easily, and may our work never keep us from singing.
In community,
~Sage