“meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in”

As I sat down to reflect on our monthly theme of Invitation, I immediately thought of the poem Guest House. Coleman Barks wrote the poem in the 1960s, inspired by a much longer text by the 13th century jurist, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī:  

        This being human is a guest house.

        Every morning a new arrival.

 

        A joy, a depression, a meanness,

        some momentary awareness comes

        as an unexpected visitor.

 

        Welcome and entertain them all!

        Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

        who violently sweep your house

        empty of its furniture,

        still, treat each guest honorably.

        He may be clearing you out

        for some new delight.

 

        The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

        meet them at the door laughing,

        and invite them in.

 

        Be grateful for whoever comes,

        because each has been sent

        as a guide from beyond.

It comes in three parts: an elegant skillful metaphor for a simple fact of life, guidance for how to deal with it, and an explanation of why things are like this. The idea that every thought or feeling, including the unbidden, has “been sent as a guide from beyond” is probably controversial in our community. It’s worthy of more conversation. But this month I’m focusing on the exhortation to be grateful for these thoughts and feelings, to welcome and entertain them, to invite them in. Regardless of how they came to be at our doorstep, can we be present, calm, and confident enough to treat them honorably? Should we even try?

As you may know, at the time of this writing, I’m preparing for surgery. In the lead-up to the surgery, it was rescheduled. The process was quite messy: after they told me that the old date was canceled, it took them 24 hours to offer me a new date. In the interim, at first, I set the issue aside. Why think about it if there’s no good information? But when I chose to share the news with a friend, my mental and emotional floodgates whooshed open: Numbness turned to confusion turned to frustration turned to anger. Worry blossomed into frantic to-do listing. And then, it suddenly occurred to me that there might be advantages to the schedule change. And then, without having any more control or certainly, I came to some peace. Only after I “entertained” the feelings and thoughts could I accept the reality of my powerlessness and the possibility that things might be ok. Maybe someday I’ll be able to greet the feelings and thoughts at the door laughing. In the meantime I’ll settle for laughing a bit after the fact.

I’m the kind of extrovert who needs other people to remind me of my humanity and the guest-house nature of my existence. Simply texting my friend what was going on moved me out of numbness toward gratitude (by way of several other feelings), even before my friend responded. What kind of support do you need to invite reality into your life? How do you cultivate trust that what’s happening now, no matter how unpleasant, may be clearing you out for some new delight?

I leave you for the next few weeks in the generous attention of our fabulous staff and volunteer leadership at the Fellowship, as well as the creative and compassionate skill of several guest ministers. See below for who to contact with any questions while I’m away. I look forward to returning and inviting in the new church year in a few weeks. 

        Warmly,

        Pastor Isabel

Update: Hi again, dear ones! I wanted to let you know that my surgery went well and my short hospital stay was remarkably peaceful. I might even call it pleasant. I’m glad for Rumi’s help beforehand to remember that life is just a temporary dwelling, with temporary furniture and a diversity of visitors. So far in this chapter, I’ve been able to meet lots of dedicated medical professionals, visit with a colleague in KC, and connect more deeply with family. And now back in Manhattan, my fridge is overflowing with the care many of you have made into meals. Thank you for your support and the space to heal. Maybe my early surgery date was a good thing, because it will bring me back Sunday September 22nd with more energy! But for now it’s such a blessing simply to rest.

 

*In her absence, if you need support please reach out to the following people, depending on what comes up:
Community or building emergencies: 

• Board Chair Dick Beeman, chair@uufm.net and (785) 317-7576
• Office and Communications Coordinator (me), office@uufm.net and (785) 422-7364, please only use their phone number in emergencies outside of their normal office hours

Need for support, or letting us know about a challenge:

• Caring Team Point Person Kaidy Li Smith, 713-471-6986 or l.kaidy99@gmail.com.

Personal or family crisis or trauma:

• Rev. Diane Miller, UU minister in Salina, diane_miller@comcast.net
• Rev. Caela Simmons Wood, pastor@uccmanhattan.org
• Pastor Melissa, pastor@manhattanmennonitechurch.org

If you need immediate access to a minister, please call Kaidy, Dick, or Hannah and they will contact a minister by phone.*