What’s in a name?

I’ve been with you all now for six months and I’m feeling like I’m getting to know you!  From Sunday Services, Action Wednesday, and one-on-one conversations, I’m learning your stories, your hopes, your dreams, and … your names!  I know a lot of people dread it, but I personally enjoy the cognitive challenge of recollecting people’s names … especially in a community where there is so much patience and grace if I come up with the wrong name, or no name at all.

I’ve also been learning your names for me. I personally like “Pastor Isa” (pronounced Izza), because of the rhythm–I’ve never used a nickname, but “Pastor Isabel” is a mouthful.  When I arrived, I offered other options: Dr. Isa, Isabel, or some variation. Variations are pretty common.  Some people pronounce it with an “ee” like Pastor Easter Bunny or with a hard “I” like Pastor Ice Cream.  Some people just call me Isa, with a range of pronunciations, which I wasn’t expecting.  And several people are tentative when it comes to saying my name, as if they’re unsure of how to do it, even though we talk together pretty often.

When I was ordained, my mentor explained that although people use “Reverend” as a title for ordained ministers, it’s actually an honorific.  Since then, I’ve been curious about what it feels like when I call a colleague “Rev. So-and-so.” I’ve noticed that by offering them my reverence, I also give myself and the other people around me more respect.  I appreciate and welcome being called “Rev. Call,” but I typically don’t refer to myself that way.  I intentionally gave you other options in case reverence is not the default posture you want to take in relation to me.

I think of myself as “Pastor” because it’s descriptive of my key role here: to support and care for you.  My goal is for every facet of my ministry to be a form of pastoral care:  listening compassionately, reflecting back what I’m hearing and seeing, connecting and healing even through mundane tasks.  This is a spiritual practice and a form of reverence.  I appreciate when you use a designator like Pastor because it reminds me of my responsibility and my capacity to hold space for you and the community.  I introduce myself as Pastor Isabel Call and sign my notes Pastor Isa primarily to remind myself of who I am called to be here.

Growing up, I called my parents’ siblings by their first names, copying my parents.  I always felt awkward using the word “Aunt” or “Uncle” in front of their names.  But more recently I’ve started doing it out of respect for their life experience and joy in having them in my life.  I’ve also gotten more intentional about calling doctors “Dr. So-and-so,” because it reminds me of their professional training and invites me to trust in their care.  Especially now that more of our professional helpers are young women, I think it’s important to convey the same respect that men in those positions have always received.

I’m sharing these notes to keep the conversation alive and to invite you into continued reflection.  Words matter.  Choosing them can be a spiritual practice.  Feel free to try it out on me.

With gratitude,

Pastor Isa

Contact Rev. Dr. Isabel Call at pastor@uufm.net.

Note: Pastor Isa will be on vacation May 10-17, visiting a new baby in California!  If you are having a pastoral emergency, please reach out to Kathleen Oldfather at 785 477-0898.  She’ll be glad to listen, offer support, and connect you to another minister if the situation calls for deeper support.